the sky isn’t falling
Tonight got me thinking back to the days when I watched the stars with my Mom. It was such a long time ago but I can remember it so vividly. It feels like it just happened.
I remember as a kid my Mom being very sad, she did a good job of not making it too obvious but sometimes there are just those moments when you just snap and can’t help but cry. I saw a couple of those, it was hard seeing the person who I leaned on being broken. It was hard not being able to do anything because I was so young and I didn’t know the cause of the tears.
My Mom, My Sister and I used to lie out under the stars together every time there was a meteor shower. It started where we would get three quilts, two for the bottom and one for the top. We would lie under them and I would lie my head on my Mom’s arm and we’d watch for shooting stars. I still remember the grass popping up around my head and randomly smacking your leg because a bug climbed onto you. It continued and eventually we got a beat up old cushion from god knows where, I think one of my Mom’s co-workers gave it to her. This was the second stage, now we had a cushion, one blanket under us and two on top. It was much warmer even though it really wasn’t that cold to begin with. Then we got a trampoline, we would get the cushion, put it on the trampoline, put one blanket under us and two on top. It got a little staticy from time-to-time but for the most part it was an excellent solution.
As time went on my sister started to grow up. Eventually it was just my Mom and I lying in the back yard together watching stars. We still talked and what not but it wasn’t quite the same. Then I think maybe my Mom thought that I was getting too old for it and she went in too, maybe she just started to get cold. I remember one night I went out and slept on the trampoline all by myself and I woke up around 4 am and realized that there was a crust of ice on my pillow.
I think that was the last time I slept out in the back yard. It wasn’t the same alone anyway. I realized that it wasn’t actually that much about the stars to me. I realized that my Mom’s smiles came so often when we watched the stars together. I loved to see those smiles. To this day when I watch shooting stars I can’t help but smile because I know you would be smiling were you lying next to me in those old quilts. Our times spent under the stars were some of the happiest, most beautiful and most innocent that I think any of us have ever had. Three people, lying on the dirt, wrapped up in blankets looking outside their own world for strength and something to believe in.
Well now we have something to believe in. We have lives, we have hope, we have a bright future. There is almost too much to believe in. Things might not always be getting better but at least they haven’t been getting worse. I really appreciate this upward trend, let’s see more of this on next year’s forecast. I see clear skies and smooth sailing.
